Why Women Succeed

On a sunny day between Hurricanes Charley and Jeanne, five players from Southwest Florida's banking, development, education, law and media fields gathered at Florida Gulf Coast University to discuss a topic personal to them: being a female executive.

Some were meeting for the first time; others are longtime friends. But Wachovia's Adria Starkey, FGCU's Audrea Anderson, Amira Dajani Fox with The Wilbur Smith Law Firm, The Bonita Bay Group's Kitty Green and Lara Kunkler of Montclair Communications, owner of WZVN in Naples, plunged right into a lively discussion. They talked about the traits women bring to the business world and the decisions that determined their career paths. And several declared that the rapidly expanding opportunities for women in their industries-construction and development, banking, education and law-spoke not only to the future of women in business but to the region's dynamic growth. Here are some excerpts from their conversation.

What were your first experiences when you came to Southwest Florida to work?

Fox: I came down here from Washington, D.C., the day after I graduated from law school in 1990, without knowing a soul. My first experience in court in Lee County-this is back in 1990, but there still are a lot of attorneys here who are of the Southern gentlemen-type of persuasion-was very different. Where in Washington someone would have been very careful not to say anything that would have offended a woman, I had many male attorneys call me "Sugar" and "Honey" and "Sweetie," and I still experience that. Although they did that, they showed me tremendous respect in the courtroom.

Starkey: The business community was very relaxed in nature. It wasn't the same level of intensity that I had experienced in Miami, and I was somewhat discouraged initially because I just wasn't sure where the momentum was going to come from.

What opportunities did you have when you arrived here, and how have you seen those change for women?

Anderson: When I came down here many years ago, I felt that the opportunities were tremendous. When I interviewed in various jobs in the teaching profession, as well as in television and working public relations with agencies, I got offers from all of those. The job market seemed to be fairly lucrative. It appeared that if you were prepared and enthusiastic, you were accepted. I think that has continued as the area has grown. Opportunities have multiplied.

Kunkler: I moved here in 1991. I didn't see Florida as the place I wanted to be. I was going to be here for a short term; I wanted to get back to Boston. Thirteen years later, I love the area. So much has come in here to make this such a fabulous place where I almost wonder, if I did go back to Boston, how easy it would be to embrace the community like I've embraced this community, to really want to develop and help see it grow. In more established communities, sometimes things are harder to change. Here, you can kind of help and do anything.

Green: The only difference I could say is almost all of my bosses have been men, and I've always gotten along very well with them, and I've often thought that's because I am a woman. I've always been encouraged by my bosses. It's easier for them to encourage me (than other men); sometimes the testosterone thing gets in the way.

What risks have you taken and obstacles have you faced as a female professional?

Starkey: I've given up opportunities, because I've chosen not to relocate my family. People have said, "Are you crazy? That's a great job offer." I have fallen in love with this place, and I don't want to take my kids out of school. Women make choices. I don't think the glass ceiling is what's holding us back. It's our nature. You're going to get ahead, but I'm not giving up everything to do that.

Kunkler: We've noticed a lot more people going for quality of life than jumping market size. Here, I think people just want to enjoy life, whether it's your kids, your kids' sporting events, your own hobbies. There's a different mentality of what people want to get out of life, and maybe why they're in this community.

Anderson: I have mentored in a program called Leadership Diversity, and I have noticed some barriers that some of those women need to overcome to move forward, in terms of the environment at the workplace. The workplace is dominated by men, and sometimes when that is the case, you find that there's a perpetuation of men rather than broadening the scope of the people you bring in. Within that context, women find it more difficult to move forward, even though they're well prepared to move forward. It's human nature, I suppose, to promote or bring in people with whom you feel comfortable, people who feel most like you; and therefore you get a proliferation or a continuation of a certain type of people sometimes in certain settings.

Green: I had this memory: Early on in my career, I was promoted into another position. When I sat in on a staff meeting with all guys, which is not unusual for my industry, I remembered just being a little dumbfounded because the first 20 minutes of the meeting was chatting about the football game. It was just a totally male-dominated banter. I do remember sort of thinking, "How am I going to make my way through this?"

Fox: Some of us would rather stay here than move, not because of a glass ceiling but because of the choices. There is definitely a tradeoff, and I see that has probably been an obstacle for me. If you want to have children, and if you want to be successful professional women and have children, there has to be some point in your career where you say, "I'm not going to take it to the next level." And I very much felt that as a lawyer.

Starkey: Women, at least in my company, who have made the choices that they want to be at the very top, they have planned their life accordingly. They all have spouses who stay home and take care of the kids. They're very comfortable and very happy with that. But I think that women constantly have to decide what role they want to play, because it's almost impossible to pretend you're going to do it all. It's hard to be homeroom mom and show up for every game and run a business.

Anderson: You have the choice to delay that run to the top, breaking through the glass ceiling. I went through trying to balance the family and the job, and it became very difficult. You rush out of meetings to get to daycare before they adopt your child away because they close at 6:30 p.m., and you know you have to get there. I tended to move back to positions where the time situations would coincide with the school situation so I could handle both. So now when I see younger people in the workplace, I know what they're going through. And I've noticed that, generally speaking, the younger women tend to hold back and not move into administrative positions, or positions that would require them to put in an inordinate amount of time.

Did any of you pull back?

Starkey: When my second child was born I started working part time. Northern Trust allowed me to work three days a week. I remember very well getting a call from someone in Chicago saying, "We don't have vice presidents who work part time." I said, "Well guess what? You do now." I think I probably was first. And only because they gave me an ultimatum, it wasn't enough fun for me, I did something else. I did some real estate projects on my own until both my children were in school full time, then I went back. A lot of people in my company said, "You took a step back because you did that." It didn't take long, and I've either met them or exceeded where they were, so it didn't really set me back. I encourage people I work with that, if you feel that you need to take the time, do it; you'll never get the opportunity again.

Anderson: Another option is for women to start their own business. I went into the desktop-publishing business. That worked out well.

Starkey: We're seeing more women start their own business, and they're being extremely successful. Statistics from the Small Business Administration say what's really driving that behavior is women working for large companies who want more control of their own destiny and don't want to move to the bigger market to get ahead. So they say, "You know what? Instead of fighting that battle, I'm going to start my own business."

What strengths do women bring to leadership roles?

Green: I believe that women tend to more often look for a win-win solution versus a win-lose solution. Men tend to be more competitive: I win, you lose.