Roberson says that if it’s tossed in the water, it will float during a service before dissolving. With my love of the ocean and concern for the environment, I think for a second that this could be what I’m looking for—when I’m 101.

Not so for Roberson. "I’m more of a traditional person," says the understated director. He would rather talk about his role comforting families than selling them funeral bling.

Currently, the funeral business is in a bit of a lull. Thanks to improved healthcare and medical advances, people are living longer. The most recent figures from the National Center for Health Statistics reported a 2 percent decrease in the death rate in 2004, the first such drop in about 70 years. But by 2030, the number of Americans 65 and older is expected to hit 72 million, and you know what Ben Franklin said about death and taxes.

In this $13 billion business, the question is not if you’re going to go, but how. In 2006, the nation’s 22,000 funeral homes held close to two million funerals and the average send-off cost about $6,000.

Personalization is one of the biggest trends in the funeral business, and the options seem endless. Add a statue of a golfer or a largemouth bass to a casket, or put mementos in a MemorySafe Drawer that gets locked in a casket. Cremation jewelry lets you wear a loved one’s ashes around your neck in a silver pendant that looks more Tiffany’s than funeral home, and is created by the same company that designs high-end salt and pepper shakers that you can buy at Dillard’s. These are just a few offerings from Batesville Casket Co., the nation’s largest supplier of caskets, cremation containers and accessories.

Introducing these products, plus options to rent a cremation casket or hire a hairdresser for the dead, requires every bit of the sociology and counseling training they give you at mortuary college.
"The consumer is at a heightened level of emotion, and it is a challenge to relate to these people," says Glenn Gould, who knows the death-care business better than just about anyone. He and his wife, Marilyn, co-founded and own MKJ Marketing in Largo. The 35-year-old firm works with 2,000 clients, training funeral home staff how to work with "price shoppers," creating PowerPoint presentations, setting up 1-800-Funeral numbers, and designing hundreds of posters and advertising campaigns, including a "retro holiday series" designed to "grab baby boomers’ attention."

"Probably the hardest part of my job is I never know what is important, meaningful and affordable to the families who come in the door," says Tim Hauck, funeral director and manager of Harvey-Englehardt-Metz Funeral Home in Cape Coral.

Hauck sees his role as explaining, not selling, the products. "Most people are comfortable in the $3,000 to $4,000 casket and the $300 to $400 urns. But we have a $13,000 solid bronze casket because there are people who want a $13,000 casket," he says.

Rowena Gallaher and her husband, John, run Gallaher American Family Funeral Home in Fort Myers, a true mom-and-pop operation with a 30-seat chapel, specializing in $790 cremations.
"I try to give people what they can afford," says Rowena Gallaher, sounding every bit the seen-it-all, 63-year-old mother of five, none of whom went into the family business. "You’re not supposed to create shrines; you’re supposed to let people go," she says.
Sometimes funeral directors have no choice but to steer a family toward Batesville’s increasingly popular Dimensions line of plus-sized caskets, built to provide "a more comfortable fit."
"For the past several years, the No. 1 request from customers for new products has been for more oversize caskets," says Joe Weigel, director of communications at Batesville, which does about $600 million a year in business.
Those caskets and others are sold online, without the hefty funeral-home markup, at www.funeraldepot.com, "Where overpaying is not dignified." According to the Funeral Consumers Alliance, a nonprofit organization formed in 1963 to protect a consumer’s right to choose "a meaningful, dignified, affordable funeral," caskets prices are marked up 300 percent to 500 percent at funeral homes; other sources cite figures as high as 800 percent.

Funeral Depot has a showroom in Fort Lauderdale but sells caskets, urns, flowers and even funeral services online, promising next-business-day delivery of caskets. Under the Federal Trade Commission’s Funeral Rule, funeral homes are obligated to accept delivery of a Web-purchased casket.

Daniel Perrin, president of the Florida Funeral Directors Association, says that Internet casket purchasing "comes and goes," and doesn’t really worry his colleagues. "The industry has changed, and we change with it," he says.

Although the Web might provide an outlet for cut-rate competition, it also expands funeral homes’ marketing opportunities. Web pages feature staff biographies, downloadable planning forms, merchandise, condolence books and even virtual tours. Gould says designing Web sites is a big part of his company’s business.

Roberson is introducing new products such as DVD memorials. In his office, he uses photos supplied by the family and adds music, scenery and text with the Easy Tribute Creator 2005 to create DVDs that the family can run during visitation and keep. They are free to the client and cost $25 for copies, and as word gets out, are becoming more popular.

Even as marketing and merchandise play increasingly vital roles, Roberson, Hauck and Gallaher all say their businesses are built on reputation and the desire to guide people through a difficult time. When Roberson leaves the house in a blue suit at 3 a.m. or misses one of his daughter’s gymnastic meets, he reminds his children that "It’s Daddy’s job to help people." When a mourner calls for Hauck, even if another funeral director is on duty, Hauck responds.

Gallaher has built her reputation on honesty and trying her best for her "families." Without a trace of irony in her voice, she says, "I’m going to keep going until I’m dead."