Business Class

It happened again the other day. I was at a business luncheon and someone took my bread. Was this man extra hungry? I don’t think so. We were seated at a large, round banquet table and he just didn’t realize that he was eating my bread from my bread plate.

I’m sure everyone has been in this situation. The glasses, plates, napkins and utensils are closely placed on the table. You look down and don’t know which is your drink or your bread plate. It’s even more of a problem when you’re seated with your clients or an employer—current or potential.

The simple table-manners trick I like to share with others is called the “B” and the “D.” Take your fingers and make an “OK” sign with each hand, straightening the fingers behind the circle. The left hand should now look like a lowercase “b” while the right hand resembles a lowercase “d.” This reminder shows that the bread should be on your left, your drink on your right. (If you don’t want anyone to see you do this, simply keep your hands in your lap.)

Does it really matter if you eat from the wrong plate? Or drink the wrong drink? It shows that you don’t know the “rules,” and colleagues who do may notice. Knowing the rules can give you added confidence at the table and, more important, it helps keep the focus on your business conversations instead of your etiquette shortcomings.

If someone takes your bread or drink, you could simply use the side of your plate for your bread, or ask the server for another drink. It’s best for everyone that you don’t make a big deal about it—and you certainly wouldn’t want to embarrass the one who messed up. That would be very bad manners.

—Suzanne Willis, Naples etiquette instructor

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