Business Class

I recently attended a luncheon where an expert in the field of nonverbal communication was the guest speaker. Joe Navarro , a former FBI special agent who turned professional speaker, travels the world sharing his expertise on nonverbal intelligence. He bases his presentation on more than 25 years of experience interrogating criminals as an undercover agent. While most of us aren’t secret agents, we still use many of the skills he presented (whether we know it or not) when making and forming impressions of others at work and in social situations.

Our nonverbal communication tells a lot about us without saying a word. For example, others judge you on many factors: neatness at work and in how you dress, timeliness and eye contact, just to name a few.

In Navarro’s book, Louder than Words, he explains the correlation between etiquette and good nonverbal communication. Both deal with the behaviors that make people comfortable and facilitate positive outcomes. Navarro shared a few tips for reading body language to understand what clients and coworkers are thinking or feeling. I realized that his tips were similar to the ones I share in my etiquette classes. For example, handshaking is a very basic nonverbal gesture, and when done correctly it can generate positive emotions. If done too aggressively or perhaps too lightly, it can send a negative message.

One of the best takeaways I learned during his talk was about facial expressions. If you really want to know if someone is telling the truth when they say they’re happy to see you, just watch their eyebrows. Raised eyebrows reflect a genuine happiness. Studies have shown that babies raise their eyebrows when happy. It’s a natural nonverbal gesture.

When it comes down to it, etiquette, at its foundation, is the art of making people feel comfortable. It doesn’t take a secret agent to understand that by understanding your nonverbal actions and how they affect others, you’ll have better manners and will go further in your career and in your personal life.